literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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