We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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