So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
