That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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