Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
