he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
