I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
false alarm, still single
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
