does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
