Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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