who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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