she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
