i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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