My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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