you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
