No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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