I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
