Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
