I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
