Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
