i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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