Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
