OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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