dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
