Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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