she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
