her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
