I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's Friday. Sex?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
