you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize