I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
