people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
