Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
