Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This is my gift to your gina
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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