all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
