I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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