I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
