Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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