you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
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I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How's your threesome situation going?
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How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...