Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
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Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again