fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
