Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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