Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize