He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
