what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
