weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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