Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
