Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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