Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
