yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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