I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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