He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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