you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
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I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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