...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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