Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
