I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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