I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
