So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
