its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
