don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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