Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
