So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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